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Boundaries: Can A Lack Of Boundaries Cause Someone To Project Their Issues Onto Other People?

September 24th, 2017

While every human being has an inner world and an outer world, it doesn’t mean these two worlds are completely separate. What is taking place internally will have an effect on what is going on externally and vice versa.

A Lens

It is then not possible for someone to simply observe what is taking place around them, as what is taking place within them will have an effect on what they see. They will have an inner filter that influences how they experience life.

This filter will be what defines how they interpret what they see and, in turn, this will affect how they respond to what happens. One might remember a time in their life when something annoyed them but it didn’t annoy one of their friends, and this could show that their friend interpreted it different.

Disempowered

If someone believes that their mind is not playing a part in how they experience life, it might be hard for them to accept this. Now, they could resist what they hear and carry on as normal, but this is not going to allow them to feel like an empowered human being.

Instead, they will continue to see themselves as a victim, and it can then be as if the world is made up of victims and perpetrators. Along with this, there can be the people out there who rescue others.

Empowerment

On the other hand, when one understands that their mind is playing a part in how they experience life, they will already accept this. Through being this way, one is likely to feel empowered.

This doesn’t mean that they will never feel like a victim; what it means is that they won’t have a victim mentality. It will be an experience that comes and then it will soon pass, and this will allow them to move forward.

A Garden

When it comes to what is taking place externally, this is going to have an effect on what takes place within them. Their thoughts and feelings are then going to be heavily influenced by their environment.

This doesn’t mean that one needs to live in the perfect environment in order to have positive thoughts and feelings and to achieve their goals, though. The reason for this is that even though one only has so much control when it comes to what happens externally, the same can’t be said when it comes to what takes place within them.

In The Driver’s Seat

Having said that, if one’s mind is out of control, it can seem as though it is easier to control what it kiang place externally. Therefore, if one is unable to detach from what is taking place within them as opposed to getting caught up in it, they can do everything they can to control their environment and everyone in it.

So, when one has a good relationship with their inner world and they are able to observe what is taking place within them, they won’t need to act like a control freak. Consequently, it will be a lot easier for them to handle the challenges of life and to stay on track.

No Where to Hide

Through being this way, one may also realise that what is taking place within them won’t just disappear if they disconnect from it. If they were to do this, what they have lost touch with will end up being mirrored back to them.

This comes down to the fact that when one doesn’t deal with something, they will end up coming into contact with people who express what they have repressed. Or, they can believe that someone has a certain issue even when this isn’t the case.

Boundaries

When one has the ability to see when they are projecting their issues onto someone else, it can show that they know where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end. Though being this way, it is going to be a lot easier for them to own what is taking place within them and to deal with it.

What this will also show is that one has a good level of self-awareness, as this will be what allows them to keep track of what is going on within them. There will be what is going on in their mind (thoughts and beliefs) and what is going on in their body (feelings and sensations).

Another Scenario

If one lacks self-awareness and they are not aware of where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end, it is going to be a challenge for them to see when they are projecting their issues onto others. They can be completely focused on what is taking place around them, and what is taking place within them will then be overlooked.

Some of the people who they come into contact with will press their buttons, but they won’t be able to see why this is. It will then be down to these people to change, as one will believe that they have it all together.

It Takes Work

It could be said that it is human nature to focus on what is taking place externally and to ignore what is taking place internally. After all, human beings are born with eyes; it doesn’t take any effort to see what is taking place externally.

Yet, when it comes to turning into what is taking place internally, this is generally something that takes a lot of effort. This is an ability that one will have to develop themselves, as it is highly unlikely that anyone else will force them to develop it.

In The Beginning

In most countries around the world, self-awareness is not part of the education system. The same could be said about boundaries – if one hasn’t developed them they could stay this way for the rest of life.

When one doesn’t have boundaries, it is likely to show that they were abused and/or neglected during their younger years. One is then going to look like an adult, but they won’t have individuated.

Awareness

If one finds it hard to connect with what is taking place within them and they have the tendency to project their issues onto others, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for support. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

Arapahoe County on Tenterhooks Over Teens’ Suicide After Their Social Media Posts

September 24th, 2017

What causes some teens pull the trigger or jump from a considerable height when they know they have friends they can reach out to? How does a teen’s suicide impact siblings, parents, close friends, and fellow students? How does it impact the impressionable adolescent who remotely identified with the one who took his life?

Within a span of two days, as many students from Arapahoe County committed suicide. While an Arapahoe High School junior took his life by jumping off the mall parking garage, a 13-year-old student of Powell Middle School shot himself within 24 hours. Coincidently, both the boys had posted about their intent on social media, and while friends and family were in a frenzy to locate the two and help, it was just too late.

The Arapahoe County twin suicides have come as a wake-up call for many. Whether it is schools that are woefully short of student counsellors or parents who have failed to connect with their wards, or the social media, the twin suicides within a short period have caused the closed Littleton community to sit up and take notice. In Arapahoe, this is the eighth suicide this year.

Unable to restrain her grief and reeling under the shock, one of the students vented her anger on Twitter. “Wake up. Do something different. Change the culture. Let’s get real,” she wrote. Schools are supposed to be the best time in one’s life, yet such tragedies are an indication that there is something clearly amiss.

Identifying a child’s depression

Arapahoe, with nearly 2,200 students and only six counselors and two psychologists on board, is short of trained professionals to deal with problems such as low-self-esteem, stress, depression and low morale in students. When incidents like these take place in quick succession, there is a serious impact on the fragile minds of many who knew the victim or might be harboring same thoughts.

When a child talks about committing suicide, it should not be taken as an empty threat. It could be a symptom of depression or craving for parents’ attention and trust. Consistent depressive posts or sad photos on social media accounts are not to be treated with scorn and derision. Instead of further disparaging children, it is necessary for friends and families to respond with genuine concern and show them that they care and are around if need be.

Calling for immediate vigilance regarding suicide-related posts, Stephanie Ratner, a therapist at Mental Health Center of Denver based at the Montbello school campus, says that the child could be “testing waters to see if anyone cares.” She advises parents to monitor social media accounts of their children and be more inquisitive about what is happening in their lives. As the entire Arapahoe community shows strength in times of grief, it’s time to take preventive measures and create support programs for children before they take the drastic step.

Knowing when to reach out

It is essential to reach out to a fellow mate, school counsellor or someone at home when one feels weary with life. Long periods of sadness and melancholy should never be ignored. They could portend serious mental health problems such as depression or anxiety disorders. Although social media helps connect people, it has a darker side too. Parents should encourage its limited use and educate their children about the benefits of more interesting activities such as reading, painting or dancing.